si brown 8,486 Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
South hams hunter 8,816 Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken's Deputy 4,456 Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
si brown 8,486 Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 *Something here to offend everyone - in every sense...* Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove. A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related. Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency. The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him. Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary) Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook". Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker. Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser! Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford. If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's Spam. They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly. When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateaux... 3 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
si brown 8,486 Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 1 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,534 Posted May 29, 2021 Report Share Posted May 29, 2021 Cheers, D. 3 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,534 Posted May 29, 2021 Report Share Posted May 29, 2021 Cheers, D. 1 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,534 Posted May 29, 2021 Report Share Posted May 29, 2021 Cheers, D. 4 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 12,352 Posted May 29, 2021 Report Share Posted May 29, 2021 43 minutes ago, dytkos said: Cheers, D. Woke up early... going to the beach with the Mrs, a nice day planned, you understand. Came on here for a little gander with my cuppa and weetabix before she wakes up..... that last one is the reason I'm cleaning weetabix off my monitor, walls, even the damn dog ffs 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DIDO.1 20,812 Posted May 29, 2021 Report Share Posted May 29, 2021 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kanny 19,323 Posted May 29, 2021 Report Share Posted May 29, 2021 1 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martyn2233 2,132 Posted May 30, 2021 Report Share Posted May 30, 2021 2 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DIDO.1 20,812 Posted May 31, 2021 Report Share Posted May 31, 2021 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 7,511 Posted May 31, 2021 Report Share Posted May 31, 2021 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
South hams hunter 8,816 Posted May 31, 2021 Report Share Posted May 31, 2021 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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