peterhunter86 8,627 Posted March 31, 2020 Report Share Posted March 31, 2020 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bush Rummager 3,744 Posted March 31, 2020 Report Share Posted March 31, 2020 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mickey Finn 2,702 Posted March 31, 2020 Report Share Posted March 31, 2020 (edited) Edited April 1, 2020 by Mickey Finn tried to delete Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,531 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 26 minutes ago, Mickey Finn said: Explain it then FFS Cheers, D. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 12,352 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 17 minutes ago, dytkos said: Explain it then FFS Cheers, D. I don't think he can explain.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jetro 5,349 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 1 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
peterhunter86 8,627 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 16 minutes ago, jetro said: I'd be more worried about some rinky dink if I was them 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jetro 5,349 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota ." Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida . One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota , but you're not on the farm anymore, son." The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?" The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65". The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition." The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.. 1 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ted Newgent 4,896 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mickey Finn 2,702 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 2 hours ago, mushroom said: I don't think he can explain.... Your still alive? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mickey Finn 2,702 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, dytkos said: Explain it then FFS Cheers, D. I don't know why it did that. It's a shame it was really funny. Oh well. Edited April 1, 2020 by Mickey Finn Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mickey Finn 2,702 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 Lets try this. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mickey Finn 2,702 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 2 hours ago, jetro said: A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota ." Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida . One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota , but you're not on the farm anymore, son." The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?" The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65". The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition." The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.. All of that for $101,237.65? The poor kid was snookered Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,183 Posted April 1, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jetro 5,349 Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. "Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks. Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross." Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!" Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough? 2 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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