bob.243 7,512 Posted January 31, 2019 Report Share Posted January 31, 2019 1 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jonjon79 13,340 Posted January 31, 2019 Report Share Posted January 31, 2019 24 minutes ago, bob.243 said: Ooh, you're going to hell for that one 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bell 3,503 Posted January 31, 2019 Report Share Posted January 31, 2019 That’s you on mushrooms hit list...... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 7,512 Posted February 1, 2019 Report Share Posted February 1, 2019 4 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dinosaurs 2,008 Posted February 1, 2019 Report Share Posted February 1, 2019 Brilliant . Atb 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smithie 2,424 Posted February 1, 2019 Report Share Posted February 1, 2019 Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smithie 2,424 Posted February 2, 2019 Report Share Posted February 2, 2019 Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking." 2 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 7,512 Posted February 2, 2019 Report Share Posted February 2, 2019 Straight off the plane from Bongo Bongoland, not used to the cold weather. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
brambles 3,062 Posted February 2, 2019 Report Share Posted February 2, 2019 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,568 Posted February 2, 2019 Report Share Posted February 2, 2019 I went into the chemists and said to the assistant "Can I have a packet of condoms, please ?" She said "Would you like a bag ?" I said "No thanks - I'll just switch the light off !" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 7,512 Posted February 3, 2019 Report Share Posted February 3, 2019 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neil b 2,264 Posted February 4, 2019 Report Share Posted February 4, 2019 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 7,512 Posted February 4, 2019 Report Share Posted February 4, 2019 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
keepdiggin 9,208 Posted February 4, 2019 Report Share Posted February 4, 2019 1 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mark williams 7,549 Posted February 4, 2019 Report Share Posted February 4, 2019 Little old Jewish lady walking back home with her husbands ashes in an urn. She lifts the lid, peers in and says - Hymee, remember that gold chain i always wanted ? She produces the chain around her neck and laughs aloud, " Ha! Ha! Haa" ! After another half mile along the country lane, she lifts the lid and says, - Hymee, remember that fur coat i always wanted ? " She lifts the collar of her fur coat to the open urn, Ha!, Ha! Haa " ! The old lady reaches the gate to her cottage, birds are singing, breeze is blowing, flowers are swaying, - she lifts the lid to the urn - Hymee, look at our beautiful garden and points the open urn towards the gardens. " Hymee, remember that blow job you always wanted " ? She drew a long, long, deep breath,- aimed at his ashes, " PHOOOOO" ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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