bob.243 7,527 Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Craic 203 Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 1484112_979025458807668_5627445418701776010_n1.jpg Ah but what's the medical name for a lesbian ?, Strapadicktome Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Craic 203 Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 I'll get me coat if off for a few of these, 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,190 Posted September 17, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 pensioner drove his brand new Mercedes to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror , he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 170, ... Suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense !" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him. The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go." The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :- "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!! The Cop left saying, " Have a good day, Sir "..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nans pat 2,575 Posted September 19, 2016 Report Share Posted September 19, 2016 ffs,i thought i was flying there when my wee sexy chinese neighbour said she need a good rodger. was only when i had the cock out i realised she was looking to rent her spare room out. bit embarassing it was. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,568 Posted September 21, 2016 Report Share Posted September 21, 2016 IKEA have a new range of lesbian beds. No nuts or screws, just tongue and groove ! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,568 Posted September 22, 2016 Report Share Posted September 22, 2016 My wife's got PMS, ADD and OCD.... .... she's crying and wants to kill me, but she can't focus on that, because she's too busy cleaning ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
coverdogs 888 Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 Why do woman have PMT. ...Because they f...ing deserve it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Gain 1,759 Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 My wife shouted "For fcuk sake, will you stop keep singing 'Wonderwall'" I said "Maybe" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Craic 203 Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 Lol 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hawki 1,429 Posted October 8, 2016 Report Share Posted October 8, 2016 Today I arrested a dyslexic robber. He walked into a bank and said... "Air in the hands mother stickers, this is a f**k up!" 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,568 Posted October 9, 2016 Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 When I was on holiday, two Thai girls asked me if I wanted to sleep with them - they said it would be like winning the Lottery. And they were right......we had 6 matching balls ! 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Gain 1,759 Posted October 10, 2016 Report Share Posted October 10, 2016 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BGD 6,385 Posted October 17, 2016 Report Share Posted October 17, 2016 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neil cooney 10,415 Posted October 17, 2016 Report Share Posted October 17, 2016 The best thing about being an insomniac ???? ONLY 3 SLEEPS 'TILL CHRISTMAS. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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