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Carry On Ferreting


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Just back from ferreting some rather exclusive new ground. Due to the nature of the "Establishment" there were a few formalities, including a small lecture on protocol and a limit on the direction cameras could be pointed.

This pep-talk took up valuable time and we knew our remit to tackle an area of derelict woodland rich in rubbish ,building spoil and the remains of an old sewage works would leave little room for error.

There were several large burrows to tackle and luckily we decided the best approach was to net everything up and work from one to the other. The dogs showed a lot of interest in a log pile which proved impossible to net effectively so we were relying on the old back-net principle too. Of course I'd left the long net at home.

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After a fair bit of rumbling and a long wait ,during which I found myself volunteered by my companions as chief log shifter in case of a lay-up, we bolted and amazingly back-netted three rabbits and my mate's dog caught one that went the wrong way.

Then the fun began. It seemed that what we had hoped were separate burrows were interlinked. Ferrets and rabbits were popping up as much as fifty yards from the points of entry and rather than observe the "keep quiet and still" mantra we found ourselves constantly patrolling in order to keep an eye on things. Rabbits flipped about,dogs scurried,nets needed constant resetting, grown men flew bottom over bosom in an effort to remain in control and then came the need to dig. The burrows were deep and the amount of scrap in the ground made digging hard so sometimes a waiting game was required.

One rabbit skipped a net-obviously not one I had set, ahem-but ,with my dog on its tail was kind enough to back net itself further along the bank . Unfortunately by the time I had reached it all that was waiting for me was a rather peeved hound and the chewed drawstrings of one of my nets .

I was mortified, it was one of my favourite nets,handmade. My mates joke that I give my nets names as I'm so attached to them.

It was later,while picking up, that young James gave a shriek of wonder and called our attention to a rabbit making a break for freedom. Lord knows why it decided to bolt without a ferret up its bum and with the bustle of de-netting all around but It was wearing the remnants of my bloody net rather like a fetching pink neglige ! . To add insult to injury it wriggled free ,eluded three agile dogs and three less than agile blokes and went on its way.

The only compensation was that my dog decided that a particular hole needed enlarging and a few minutes later emerged with another rabbit that had carried a net underground . Ah ,the bonus back-netter we all crave to finish the day on.post-13773-0-53635600-1422220007_thumb.jpg

He looks pleased with himself.

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It was all a bit "Carry On meets Planet of the Apes" but luckily we were unobserved . Or,given the nature of the land, maybe we weren't and there were a bunch of security guards glued to a monitor ,p*ssing themselves.

Edited by comanche
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