trappa 517 Posted March 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Cheers boys. I think i will come down hard on her, at least will try. Its easier said than done sometimes, dont want her to go the wrong way completely and rebel. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Cheers boys. I think i will come down hard on her, at least will try. Its easier said than done sometimes, dont want her to go the wrong way completely and rebel. That's the danger.. The more you say they ain't allowed to do something that all their mates are doing the more it appeals to them and the more determined they become to do it behind your back IMO. Once they've done that, if anything untoward was to kick off on it the harder it's going to be to bring it to you.. That's the way I look at it, it's hard to find a balance.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Cheers boys. I think i will come down hard on her, at least will try. Its easier said than done sometimes, dont want her to go the wrong way completely and rebel. That's the danger.. The more you say they ain't allowed to do something that all their mates are doing the more it appeals to them and the more determined they become to do it behind your back IMO. Once they've done that, if anything untoward was to kick off on it the harder it's going to be to bring it to you.. That's the way I look at it, it's hard to find a balance.. I think saying "well I wish you well, NOW OUT!!!"....should do the trick. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Meat 3,109 Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 no ifs no buts no coconuts, id cancel wifi to whole house, and it would only be turned back on as a reward for doing well in exams.. trick to kids iv found is alwzys let them think you are compromising, in mh house things like computers/kung fu/ballet are privelidges not necesity. be a shame for her to waste years a work in last few month 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JR Yipp 111 Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 how are all you lot going to get on the hunting life every night if you turn the internet off. teach by example, take the dog out. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
micky 3,325 Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 you will not get the better of a 16 year old girl. FACT 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 44,290 Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 how are all you lot going to get on the hunting life every night if you turn the internet off. teach by example, take the dog out. Shut up you f***ing queen ! Lol lol 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 you will not get the better of a 16 year old girl. FACT Yes you will FACT ......... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 Kids are so headstrong nowdays, agree with socks 100% socks are you not worried she just do a runner when you play bad cop???? Do a runner to where ??? ......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 I don't get it. While do parents allow there kids to make the rules? Doesn't make sense to me. All this they need to live up to what there pals do, aye, if they ball. Just like dogs, children need to know the boundaries and will push them constantly but they need them to feel loved, become balanced etc. as socks says, 14, 16, 18, 21, while they live under the roof your paying for, they need to respect your in charge. But the rules should be there al the time, you can't let them away with stuff then decide no, you can't do that any more when it suits. Letting a kid stay upto all hours on Facebook is never going to be a good thing no matter if there is exams or not. I'll tell my daughter to dry the dishes, she'll say, Sophia doesn't do any housework. I say, do you stay at Sophie's? Thing with kids, they'll use examples that suit them, they'll not mention the other pals who do loads of housework etc. your not being cruel having rules, your being responsible. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
killbilly 17 Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 TBH I'm glad I grew up before the age of Facebook and the rest. I shudder to think what my teenage self would be up to on the net. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 The other way to get hard headed kids to comply is to make them realise that they need you more than you need them ... For example if they are always whinging about their chores or do them half heartedly or when they feel like it ... Or whatever it may be try this tactic and I can guaranty you within 5 days you will have a different child .... The next time they whine or try and get out of something say to them ... Fine don't do anything for me or the house and I won't do anything for you ... Let's keep it to that ..... Dad can you drive me to .... NO dad can you pick me up from .... NO dad can I stay around SO AND SO's ..... NO dad can I go to so and so'so party ... NO dad can you record such and such ....NO dad can you lend me ...NO dad can so and so stay around .... NO When you do the food shop can you grab me ... NO there is a school trip to somewhere I really want to go to can I ......NO you get the gist of what I am saying ... Even the most unruly and stubborn of kids soon realise that they need you far more than you need them and come to the conclusion that doing their chores on time correctly and settling into study each night will get them far more than whinging and trying to buck the system ............... 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Flipper_Al 1,012 Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 I have explained to my two.. in my house you live in a dictatorship... they kinda get it 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,182 Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 With a 15 year old girl I know only too well that parenting gets more difficult as the grow She had facebook at 14, and lost it after 2 weeks.... my wife monitored her account (for her safety) and didn't like arguments at school coming into our house, so it was gone.. She's got it back, since turning 15, but under strict rules, her phone, lap top etc is left outside her room from 9-30pm, she can then get into bed, read unwind a bit etc.... She has to study, and her predicted grades are good and improving.... We treat her like an adult, pretty much, and where I used to shout, lose my temper etc, I find her being told how disapointed I am, or you've let yourself down, you've let your mum down etc works.... the more trust she gains, the more perks freedom she gets, she knows when she messes up it's gone and she's back to square 1. We've had a few moments in the past, and loads to come, but I've found my relationship with her is loads better by treating her as an adult, and making her aware of her actions. It's a tough time for girls at this age IMO, my wife and her relationship is so close which is great, they'll shop together, and have girly days, she confesses a lot to her mum ( which I get to hear about lol)... but she will get occasionally open up to me when somethings on her mind, it's controlling the fatherly urge of kicking off and listening and trying to give her advise I've found works much better, and makes for a more peaceful house. Tough as it is they grow up, you can't treat them like kids forever 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wales1234 5,424 Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 With my old man it was behave or don't play rugby haha had a few mad moments over the but my and the old guy have a good understanding now haha Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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