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Sjt657

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Status Updates posted by Sjt657

  1. No shooting tonight due to the England game !! Really ??

  2. So Rihanna is being tipped to play Whitney Houston in a film about her life. So she's gonna play a black female artist who makes lots of money and has a rough relationship with Mr. Brown.Shouldn't be too hard.

  3. Arguing with a Christian is like playing chess with a pigeon.You could be the greatest player in the world, but the pigeon will still knock over all the pieces, shit on the board and strut around triumphantly.

    1. The Duncan

      The Duncan

      I'll tell my parents that one, and see if I stay in the will lol!

  4. Looks like the city of Liverpool will be going to work in a good mood tomorrow.Oh, wait...

    1. just jack

      just jack

      do they work in liverpool?

      thumbs

    2. R. Docks

      R. Docks

      All three working scousers are going to work with a smile on their face?

    3. christian71

      christian71

      2 one surports Everton

  5. Looks like the city of Liverpool will be going to work in a good mood tomorrow.Oh, wait...

  6. Women complain that I'm not willing to commit. They're wrong -- I'm willing to commit adultery.

  7. Scientists discovered that most women will, at some point in their lives contain intelligent DNA,Unfortunately 95% of them will spit it out!

  8. Why does my mother inlaw never shut up !!! When does she breath in ? Pub

    1. tomano1

      tomano1

      Cos that's what there like mate every body's in the same boat lol

  9. *Backstage at the brits* "The stage wont hold! Your going to have to interrupt her speech!"

  10. Off out shooting !!!!!!!! Bloody rain :(

  11. Off out shooting !!!!!!!! Bloody rain :(

  12. "Sir, could you please step out of the vehicle?""I'm too drunk, you get in."

    1. stabba

      stabba

      i havent been cunting drinkstable lol

  13. My doctor advised me to start running.I'm not ill, I'm just shagging his wife.

  14. A pound coin was thrown onto the pitch at Ibrox. Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.

  15. A pound coin was thrown onto the pitch at Ibrox. Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.

  16. House up for sale moving to out to the country :). Can't wait !!!!

  17. Off out shooting in a bit !!!

  18. My wife just called me.She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous."I said, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

  19. They say Abu Qatada has to be released because he hasn't broken any rules in England.Oh yeah? What about the rule that says you have to have a 'u' after 'q'?

  20. Whitney Houston died just hours after being asked to be a judge on the next season of X-Factor. Personally I think she made the right decision.

  21. I've just been called childish for making Whitney Houston jokes.It's Not Right But It's Ok.

  22. Whitney Houston died doing what she did best.Holding a note.

  23. Apparently, 60 isn't the new 30 and gets you a six month driving ban.

  24. I've bought my epileptic girlfriend a few small gifts for Valentine's Day.Nothing too flashy.

  25. The Bank of England has announced another round of 'quantitative easing', this time printing £50 billion of money.Keep it up lads; at this rate soon we'll all be billionaires, just like everyone in Zimbabwe.

    1. The Duncan

      The Duncan

      I know - morons!

      It doesn't work when you give the cash to bankers!

      QE - a poor concept

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