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Status Replies posted by fazza123
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After Andy Murray's speech, my tearful girlfriend said to me, "Why cant you be more like HIM?"."What", I said. "Be more sensitive and cry?""No", She said. "Come second".
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Police have found an ingenious way to catch crooks and wrong doers. The government are backing the police on this one because its not costing them a penny in financials. It can track down what people have down, going to do or thinking of doing, and even gets them to make a confession. A police spokesman said "We've been waiting for this kind of criminal science for years, but now its here. It's amazing how it catches crooks and even gives us a written confession without pressure....
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A guy goes to the council for a job. Interviewer asks 'Are u allergic to anything?' 'Yes, caffeine', he says. 'Are you disabled in anyway?' 'Yes', he replies, 'I was in the army & a bomb exploded near me & blew my testicles off'. Interviewer - 'Ok your hired. Hours are 8 till 3 but you can start at 10 everyday'.Guy asks 'why 10?' Interviewer- 'this is a council job, 1st 2 hours we stand drinking coffee & scratching our bollocks so no point you coming in!'