just jack

chaps

well well well!

Just been to see 12 yrs a slave, I cant believe the horror and exploitation of fellow humans absolutely scandalous £9.60 for popcorn and a coke ffs!!!

A woman went to the doctor, because she was concerned about the 2 green patches that kept appearing on the inside of her thighs. The doctor asked her are you married? She said no, then he asked have you got a boyfriend? She said yes. Well tell your boyfriend his earrings aren't real gold!.

jimmy carr ffs, haha,

why is chat so DESPERADO, haha, get a grip bitches ffs

i found it amusing anyway, www.(!64.56:886/photo.php?v=392236544244676

i dropped an estimate in today to an old dear for some roof repairs and she said "i have someone coming round can i call you shortly" i said can you fook you old hag i don't even know you"!!!!

chinky mi thinky

how old do you have to be to know better?

go bollox paul o grady, get the chase back on!!

hello

got bummed on wednesday, took the wife and kids to alton towers, "hope to see you again sir" "like fook you will"

ffs dog in the vets in the morning, silly little twat tried jumping on the kids trampoline, next minute a almighty yelp and he couldn't move his back legs, phone the emergency vets and said to leave him a few hours as it could be a trapped nerve? he's walking now but very cagey and his back is arched all the time, ffs, should be cheap!!!! not,

found stabba!!!

learn to speak English or your benefits are stopped,,,, sweeeeeeeet

gorra dash!!! need to be someone else!!

norris is next!!

what a waste

An Emergency Call Centre worker in London has been dismissed from her job, much to the dismay of colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with her treatment. It seems a male caller called 999 from a mobile phone stating, "I am depressed and lying here on a railway track. I am waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet Allah." Apparently "remain calm and stay on the line" was not considered to be an appropriate or correct response!!!!!

My pornstar friend died recently, so at his cremation, out of a mark of respect, we scattered his ashes all over his wife's face !!!

shooting has been called of for tomorrow because of this shite weather, TWAT

paulas sent me this as he is on form!! "Just found out my mates addicted to brake fluid...he says he can stop anytime though" i tell a lie, its one of my best!! coat

could be worse

My mate just dared me to eat some yellow snow. It was a piece of piss!