School Nativity Play 2017

[Blackbriar 8,568]

I can't claim any credit - this was written by a friend of mine, who writes under the name Rappa Blue, but I thought it good enough (and funny enough !) to share, with his permission, of course..........

 

Went to the school’s nativity play,
All the kiddies dressed-up, cheeky and gay,
Together in the stable chickens, donkey and sheep,
Even a “Desert Storm” camo Jeep,
I expected a serene view of Heaven,
But Wayne was sporting an AK-47,
Teachers can’t spell – they labelled the “Manger”,
“The Minger” to which the audience was no stranger,

Brooklyn was asked to sing a song,
Nervous, tongue-tied, she got the words wrong,
Its’ a “crib”, not a “cr*p”, for a bed,
Yep, that’s the word she said,
While parents struggled up from the floor,
Brooklyn was booted out the door,

Mother Mary was in a fight with a fairy,
The 3-Wise men were becoming lairy,
They’d ridden their camels from afar,
One said: “I wish we’d boosted a car”.

Chelsea’s mum was high and minus a shoe,
Fag in one hand, the other held Special Brew,
Belly flab hanging over her legging,
“Ger on [BANNED TEXT] it” she shouted “We gotta go beggin’”,

Little Johnny was playing the Son of Man,
Under his blanket was a syringe and lager in a can,
“Can’t stand this sh*t”, he hissed,
“I only turned-up to get pissed”.

The Roman soldier fancied a wee,
So lifting his robe he watered a tree,
The Head said: “Don’t do that”,
Being so stoned he tripped on a mat,
Laying there in a drug-induced glow,
The pianist hit the keys – “On with the Show”,
Half the choir sang one hymn, half another,
Until the rebel leader received a kick in the b*lls from his mother,

The Wise-men’s gifts myrrh, frankincense and gold in a tin,
Came from a jeweller’s they’d burgled on the way in,

Fred came dressed as a 60’s Ted,
Always late, he’d just fallen outta bed,
He’d got to the Hall pretty nifty,
A 9-year old astride a stolen Beesa six-fifty,

It all kicked-off; fists flew,
In went 6-year old Amy, armed with her stiletto shoe,
Backed up by Emma holding a chair,
From year two a mortar shell flew thro’ the air,
A wall fell.....smashed by a Hummer V,
Manned by a crew from year three,
A burst from a fifty-cal shredded the set,
Who would have thought that Becky was a Viet Nam vet?

All in all the best play I’ve ever seen,
Brought to a halt by the SAS and SO-19,
Oh, such fun.......never fear,
I can hardly wait for next year!
 

Merry Christmas to you all