Question for THL agony aunts

[dave88 1,565]

Just want opinions really lads....back in Dec 2013 when I was 25 I tracked down my biological father...he left my mum before i was born so I'd never met the bloke before. From the get go we got along like a house on fire,  he loved fishing, drinking beer...we had a lot in common and my kids loved him.  His missus is a lovely woman and I met 3 half siblings I didn' know I had....everything was going swimmingly. About 18 months later....so middle of 2015 things started going down hill..wont go in to detail but he was acting a c**t and I hated being around the bloke....but rather than sit down man to man and sort it which I was prepared to do he text me whilst I was at work one day and said maybe we shouldn't see each other any more....cut off all ties with me and my 3 kids. Fast forward to yesterday,  he text me apologizing and asking if i wanted to go out for a beer and sort out what happened.  In 2 minds as to what I should do...what would you lads do? 

[Havelightforcewilltravel 417]

Your decision but in my opinion unfair on your kids him been in and out there life and ask yourself this you done without him all these years so do you realy need him.Best of luck whatever you decide.

[mackem 23,743]

wasn't in your life from the beginning,left your mam to do the hard work,appears when your grown,acts like a cnut for a while,disappears again for unknown reasons then pops up again?f**k him off or book him onto Jeremy kyle.

[Jonjon79 13,340]

Put him on his arse, then offer to start from scratch - let him know what you expect from him if he wants a relationship with your kids.

 

Whatever you decide, good luck.

[ChrisJones 7,973]

It's time to decide whether you think you want to ride the emotional roller coaster. It could've been a one-off, or it could be the first step in a long chain of outbursts. As other members of the THL panel have already he said he hasn't exactly been there for you in the past but that doesn't mean he won't be in the future.

Personally, I'd pursue it for a little while but play your hand close to your chest lest you get burned... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!

[socks 32,253]

When you first met he was obviously on his best behaviour to impress you but as time whent by his true colours emerged and you seen him for what he really was ... time is to short to piss about on people that fukc you around even relatives ... it's not fair on your kids to have him in and out of their lives when he feels like it ... I would stay in touch with your siblings and be civil to your old fella when you see him but I wouldn't actively want him in my life .......

[terryd 8,040]

I don't get all this fuss over meeting long lost family. If you don't know them you can't feel any thing for them. The less family that come out of the closet the better. Most people all ways want some thing. I met my old man for first time when i was about 20. Silly sod was piss ahead and I never bothered with him. He drunk him self to death in the end so I heard. I just stick with my own family wife and kids that is enough for me 

[scothunter 12,609]

Once bitten twice shy.

[ChrisJones 7,973]

11 minutes ago, terryd said:

I don't get all this fuss over meeting long lost family. If you don't know them you can't feel any thing for them. The less family that come out of the closet the better. Most people all ways want some thing. I met my old man for first time when i was about 20. Silly sod was piss ahead and I never bothered with him. He drunk him self to death in the end so I heard. I just stick with my own family wife and kids that is enough for me 

That's fair enough, mate. I have living relatives that I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire but I've met some long lost relatives that I'd happily give the shirt off my back. I'm not one to keep going back to daft situations but if the OP is troubled enough by the situation to ask a bunch of strangers for advice then it's probably bothering him enough to go back for another look. Only he'll know whether it's worth it.

[walshie 2,804]

You gave the man a chance and he blew it IMO.

[ginger beard 4,652]

The fact that you had to track him down first says it all.tell him to get f****d.what does your mum think about it.?

[bird 9,594]

2 hours ago, socks said:

When you first met he was obviously on his best behaviour to impress you but as time whent by his true colours emerged and you seen him for what he really was ... time is to short to piss about on people that fukc you around even relatives ... it's not fair on your kids to have him in and out of their lives when he feels like it ... I would stay in touch with your siblings and be civil to your old fella when you see him but I wouldn't actively want him in my life .......

good thread   above  ken, add to that , i would meet him up as he said, then after   just  see him  few  times a year, like as now , just pop round with xmas card   or his birthday  etc, just the odd visit , and leave it at that.  Me and my dad never got on , if in the same room would end up like couple  pits having a go, i looked after him when he was dying of cancer the last 6 months , we kind of made it up then , just before he died   he told me i was a great son, any man would be proud of . i tell you what   he been dead  6 years, and mom  11 years ,  bloody hell do i miss them, i even miss my old man bollocking  me lol , your long time dead,  try to enjoy  them why you still alive  , this is from a old man     .   Ray

[WILF 44,276]

Tell him to go and f**k himself.

If anyone else needs any advice, just ask me 

[kanny 19,382]

Sounds like there's a woman behind it to me .....give him a chance life can be complicated and we don't always make the right choices. ....hear him out 

[ChrisJones 7,973]

17 minutes ago, WILF said:

Tell him to go and f**k himself.

If anyone else needs any advice, just ask me 

F*ck*ng hell mate. Not like you to sit on the fence!