Anyone Seen This?

[trigger2 3,100]

i have had the belt off my dad once or twice over the years and it didnt do me any harm. when i had the belt there was one thing for certain i knew i had deffinatly crossed the line.

 

edited to say it never done me any harm and i had to really badly over step the line for that punishment to be dished out. i respected my olders thats for sure.

 

a parent should be allowed to correct there child at some point with a smack imo

[ChrisJones 7,973]

I'm four & half years in & I haven't felt the need to do it yet, hopefully I can keep it that way?

 

I'm the same at 17 years and the eldest lad's matured considerably since he started his part-time job after school. Not knocking anyone else's parenting but I've never had to administer any more than a harsh bollocking. Saying that I've spent a considerable amount of quality time with them in the last ten years and I wouldn't change it for the world. I do think that quality time has played a huge part in it.

Edited October 22, 2017 by ChrisJones

[WILF 44,182]

As all us parents know, there is no manual so you do the best job you can.

Everyone has something they think is important, in my case it has been to be completely honest with my kids about my past, my mistakes and my failings (mental maturity appropriate of course)........that way they know why I'm saying what I'm saying.

 

I honestly and faithfully hold dear the principle that parenting should involve constant evaluation of your own behaviour and performance as a parent and you should always be uncomfortably honest with yourself even when you may not like what you see.......kids have a massive sense of what's fair and if you are an utter prick but spend your life being holier than thou they will sus you out in a heartbeat and all respect just gos down the drain.

 

Jmho

[ChrisJones 7,973]

As all us parents know, there is no manual so you do the best job you can.

Everyone has something they think is important, in my case it has been to be completely honest with my kids about my past, my mistakes and my failings (mental maturity appropriate of course)........that way they know why I'm saying what I'm saying.

 

I honestly and faithfully hold dear the principle that parenting should involve constant evaluation of your own behaviour and performance as a parent and you should always be uncomfortably honest with yourself even when you may not like what you see.......kids have a massive sense of what's fair and if you are an utter prick but spend your life being holier than thou they will sus you out in a heartbeat and all respect just gos down the drain.

 

Jmho

 

Absolutely mate. I've always taken it that the only thing I know is that I don't know anything. I've been honest about that from day one. I've used my time with them to learn too it's a constant evolution and frankly, it's been a damn good journey!

[WILF 44,182]

I will often say "sorry" to my kids, as in "I could/should have been/acted/done better so I'm sorry about that".......that how I conduct myself and that what I expect from them.

So far, so good.......I'm sure there will be new and interesting challenges to come

Edited October 22, 2017 by WILF

[mushroom 12,352]

When my old man was a kid in the late 20s early 30s he was scared of the dark so my grandads cure was to tie him to a gatepost all night when they were down hopping in Kent..........can you imagine that?.....seems unbelievable in today's world.

My daughter went through a stage of slamming doors when she was 4 or 5. Not on purpose or in anger, just fecking slamming the buggers. So one night I woke her up at about 3am and made her open and close her bedroom door 30 times quietly. She's never slammed a door since ???

[Blackbriar 8,568]

 

I was brought up by three rules....

 

1. Do as you're told.

2. Don't answer back.

3. Respect your elders.

 

If I asked my sainted mother "Why ?", she'd say "Because I said so, that's all you need to know."

[scothunter 12,609]

Well i was hit by my dad he was very much old school and his word was law.

no back chat at all.

he said Bed you just went! No family discussions like parents give to there kids these days "where you would like to go holidays " etc

 

when i say hit i do mean that. Crack on the jaw belt taken to me.

i was a wee shit but certainly didnt deserve the beatings i took.

 

Was belted in primary school and pretty much everyday in high school.

Done me no good at all and although i think the goverment are just using this for political point scoring.however i dont actually think physical punishment achieves anything. Kids these days would react more to being denied their phones or playstations.

[WILF 44,182]

Like almost everything, there is already laws to cover this type of thing......it's assault, child abuse etc etc......we don't need any more because they will only be mis-used as all these things tend to be.

 

I remember seeing blokes in the pub on a Sunday lunch time, with young kids in tow, and these blokes would be getting pissed and snorting coke off the bar while the kids stood watching with a lemonade in their hand........and guess what, when the kids grew into adults they turned into bits of shit as well !!

 

If government want to deal with something, deal with that type of mindset not the bloke who has give his wilful 7 year old a quick tap on the arse in order to show them acceptable boundaries.

[MOLE265 792]

 

I'm four & half years in & I haven't felt the need to do it yet, hopefully I can keep it that way?

My old man was beaten from pillar to post & he never laid a finger on us.............so I'm hoping I can carry that on ;-)

Likewise mate.....my old man was bought up very harsh and yet never laid a hand to me.

I can count the number of times I have felt the need to smack my kids backside on one hand over 15 years and that for all 4 of them.

The only time I have done it is when they were nasty rude (as opposed to cheeky rude) to their mother, once to the mother in law and a couple of times when they were throwing their weight about (all part of growing up I know).......that's my girls 14 & 15

My older boy I have never had to smack ever in 10 years........a couple of incidents where he has had a serious bollocking when he was impolite to a waitress and once when he was rude to his mother.

Luckily enough knowing he has disappointed me and let himself down is enough for him.

 

My youngest got his first tap on the bum the other week when he lost his rag and decided he was going to smash things up.

 

I have one rule that would warrant a smack and that is "don't behave like an animal".......that's the only smacking rule.

I don't see much need for it otherwise and maybe there's no need for it at all but that my red line.

 

If I see someone actually beating a kid then I'd intervene and have done a couple of times over the years.

[tilimangro 1,013]

My father was very handy with his fist and quick tempered

When I was 13 Id had enough and beat him up when he went for me then he said enough was enough

Ive never laid a finger on my kids and never will

Theres easier ways and better ways for my kids

Each to their own but I know I grew up resenting it in a big way

Years later when he was old and wiser my father told me he regretted it hugely

[mackem 23,676]

I remember seeing blokes in the pub on a Sunday lunch time, with young kids in tow, and these blokes would be getting pissed and snorting coke off the bar while the kids stood watching with a lemonade in their hand........and guess what, when the kids grew into adults they turned into bits of shit as well !!

I had a couple of guys working for me for the last month,i have known them for years,one of them takes coke as if its a medical necessity,pops diazepam as if they are smarties,drinks like a fish,and smokes weed and ciggies as if he has a chimney in the top of his skull,his two school age boys both drink,and smoke weed and cigs,he always rants and raves when his wife catches them(she is a female version of him),the apple never falls far from the tree

[Malt 379]

When my old man was a kid in the late 20s early 30s he was scared of the dark so my grandads cure was to tie him to a gatepost all night when they were down hopping in Kent..........can you imagine that?.....seems unbelievable in today's world.

My grandad was a fisherman, taught my father and his brothers to swim by taking them out on a boat and chucking them in the drink!

[scothunter 12,609]

I remember dogging the shool in primary 7 to go watch superstars (older members will remember it) had an enjoyable day watching the folk jogged after alan minter and got his autograph.

 

Anyway the school had phoned and as i was walking home pretending i had been at school met my dad coming other way.

 

"How was school"? Aye was ok.

 

"f***ing liar you never went"!

 

walked behind me all way home as soon as i was in door out of his pocket came a school belt (my auntie was a cleaner in a school and gave it to him) much to my horror!

I made a run for the stairs and fell half way up and he laid into my arse with it.

well i turned round and he caught me across the face with it. He didnt mean to but that's hardly the point.

i went to my room and i remember to this day the look on my mums face when she walked into my room and saw the welt over my face.

 

Ironically i was kept off school till it healed lol

 

I have to say he was a good father we never went without had a nice home clothes on our backs etc but as far as being a dad he could have been better. Died when i was 20 so never really got the chance to ever confront him on it or if he ever regretted it.

[bird 9,587]

I personally think there is a world of difference between a short sharp smack on the bum and giving a kid a beating.

true , i come from a family of 5 children , the last one was a gap , but us other 4 was only 5 years diff, so yougg kids all together . Mom used hit us with either her hand and some times a old boiler stick on the bag of our legs , dad never hit us when we were young he was to busy/ tired from going to work 6 days every week . lokking back mom was under pressure with 4 young kids , so prob lashed out more of in temper and lack of patience , that been tested to the full. Dad only hit when me when i was young bloke 19 , i hit my younger brother who was as big as me just few years younger , we were fighting in kitchen , and hit him in the face , he went flying back to the door and is arm went through glass panel of the door . well blood every where mom going made throw me out , got brother to AE . i went to dad's work to explain what happened , but mom had phoned him already, before i could open my mouth he hit full power in the guts, i went down he told me to piss of + leave home . i stayed away for a while then went back once he calmed down . But i never forget that prat for hitting me like that, and with my own son who is now 30 , ive never hit him , i just would talk to him if he was playing up and make him stay in when he was younger it worked never hit , me and my lad get on great so does my younger brother today we on the phone once a week he lives in france now. hitting ok if its just smack on back of hands or leg, but only if the child really understands why it being hit, never hit in anger like my old man did he was wrong .