Born Hunter 17,628 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 never squat with spurs on.. Never squat the morning after a bad Indian... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neems 2,406 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 Mine is a long story, but I promise you it's worth the read. A young man asked a guru "How do I become successful?" The Guru replied, "If you really want to be successful meet me on the beach at 4am tomorrow." The next day the young man turns up all suited and booted on the beach. He finds the guru in shorts and tshirt. The Guru says "Walk out with me into the sea." Then turns his back and walks knee deep into the sea. The young man can't help but think, I want to learn to be successful, I don't want to play lifeguard. But he relents and walks into the sea with the Guru, to knee depth. The Guru then asks, "Do you really want to be successful?" To which the young man agreed that he did. "Then walk with me." The Guru replied. They walk out until the water is shoulder depth, when the Guru turns and asks the young man whether he still wanted to be successful? Again the young man relented that he did want to be successful. So they walked out a little further still. This time until the young man's feet were not able to touch the bottom of the sea bed. At that moment, the Guru grabs the young man and pulls him underwater. He holds the young man under water, without allowing him to take a big breath of air. The young man was kicking and swigging, trying to free himself from the old man's grip, and get back up into the air to breath. The Guru calmly held the young man fully underwater while he was kicking and writhing in agony. 1 minute had passed and the young man was starting to get weak. After a minute and a half the Guru dragged the young man up into the air and allowed him to breath. He gasped out loud, filling his lungs with the precious air he was lacking. When they had returned together to the beach, the Guru calmly turned around and said "When you want to be successful as much as you wanted to breath back there. Then you will be successful." that reminds me of this scene Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cliff Ray 185 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 Ignore my advice. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 when taking a dump,put some toilet paper in first it stops splash backGood for that but increases the smell with the turd lying on top of the paper instead of going under the water.. only good for certain situations IMO! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CBdogsA1 420 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 I hate a cnut I don't like. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RemyBolt 420 Posted June 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 Only human stupidity and the universe are infinite, the latter of which I am uncertain about - Einstein. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
perthshire keeper 1,237 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 Better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. na balls ta that! the whole trudgeing round like a lost puppy,looking for handy trees and bits of rope....when youve lost it but never having loved well you just go round chopping and changeing haveing a time of it and if it goes tits up well feck it....plenty more fish in the sea 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darren_nash 85 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 if i worked for the samaritans i,d advise everyone to have a shit , as you always feel better after having one Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BIGLURKS 874 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
unlacedgecko 1,466 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 Better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. na balls ta that! the whole trudgeing round like a lost puppy,looking for handy trees and bits of rope....when youve lost it but never having loved well you just go round chopping and changeing haveing a time of it and if it goes tits up well feck it....plenty more fish in the sea Not got a shotgun? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 Never run down hill at full pelt with your hands in your pockets ......... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
danw 1,748 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 To be a keeper doesn't mean you have to be a c**t but it sure helps Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tb25 4,626 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 Beware of the wolf in sheep's clothing .. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bird 9,591 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 yeh got a good'un live every day if it was your last, life is very short it goes very quick 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
haymin 2,465 Posted June 18, 2014 Report Share Posted June 18, 2014 Don't do a bank transfer to some one you don't no ?? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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