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Outlaw Pete

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Everything posted by Outlaw Pete

  1. Okay. So I'm seeing some heart felt enthusiasm here I'm being asked how and what it's like to get into proper, legal, BTO authorised ringing. Then I'm being told; " I hope I'm not asking too many questions? " People! Ringing is the Dogs danglers, to me! Think of those Football Fans. That's me. But, with ringing. I Live For my ringing. I get out of bed for it. It consumes my days. I f**king Love it!!! Pul Eeease, don't ever think you could prod me too much about ringing! Ask all ye like. And, as ye've been asking? I'll start answering here. This is for anyone with a real interest ..... To start learning to become a ringer, you need to be trained. And, believe me, your Trainer will be a 'Black Belt' in ringing! He / She / They will mentor you and show you the moves. Explain the points of it all. As, they consider, you progress and learn, demonstrating your own aptitude, they will consider putting Their names to Your " Endorsements ". Consider these a bit like the other 'belts' of martial arts. You start off as a Trainee / 'White Belt'. And you move up the ranks, according to ability and time / effort put in. From White / Trainee, your ambition will be " C Permit Holder ". That's me! However, the difference here is that you may choose to go for some 'belts', not bothering with others. To use another analogy; This is like at college. Thirty students may be on the same core course. But, they'll have options on which modules they choose to incorporate. K? For example; I'm land locked. I'd never need an endorsement for a Seabird Colony. I'm never going to ring a Ganet or be puked on by a Fulmer! Easiest C Permit Endorsement would be for, eg. Blue / Great Tits, in nest boxes in your garden. This is because A/ There's no real need to identify / age / sex the chicks (" Pullii ", to use the proper term for chicks. But, I'll say chicks, to save confusion). You know what's been in and out of that box. It's a bloody blue tit and so are these chicks! B/ It's hardly SAS material, finding and approaching a nest box that you put up there. And not a lot's going to find that box, because of you, that couldn't find it any way. So, basically? You open the box. Take out the chicks. Ring them and put them back. Next level of Endorsement might be ringing birds in Open nests. This one's actually a lot more tasty than ye might imagine, compared to nest boxes. Because here ye have to demonstrate a bit of field craft, as well as other subtle skills. Knowing how to look for nests is the first thing. What sort of stick to carry. How to use it and why. All cunning stuff! Having found a nest? You, obviously, have to be damn sure of what's in it! Can't go seeing a little, green bird flicker away and recording that you've just ringed five Willow Warblers. Not if the nest was domed and had a little hole in the side! Knowing whether to ring is important too. Are they old enough? Too old? Should you have even come out today? With this weather ....? Yeppers. There's a Lot more to searching out Open Nesters than there is to telling Michael you'll " Open The Box "! In tandem with this sort of thing, of course, there'll be the catching of 'Any Other' Birds. This you'll be doing twelve months of the year. The method of choice being the Mist Net. Your Trainer will show you how to erect a mist net. Explain how it all works. Then you'll need to master extracting a bird from one. Now, I very soon realised mist nets and me wouldn't mix My hands and eyes are simply no longer up to it. And, anyway, I guess I just lack something in my nature. Don't let that personal statement put you off for a moment though. My problem is that I'm far too shot, in the eyeballs department. And my hands just aren't as sure and steady as they used to be. Believe me; Small bird in a mist net? If you're not on an island in the med', you'll want that baby out of there in one piece. And, well ..... I'll leave that for ye Trainer to demonstrate to ye. Bit too much like threading a needle, for me. And no way can I do that! No Mist Net Endorsement for me then. I've got an endorsement to use small traps! And I love it!!! I find a new source of bird traps and I'm the kiddie in the sweet shop! Mist nets aren't the be all and end all then. Traps though might be the want all and buy all! Finally ~ Or should this have come firstly? There's the basic meat and bones of Ringing. The stuff that's going to be your experience on the first day you meet your potential Trainer and will be what you do for ever more afterwards. You'll be taught how to simply Handle a live, wild bird. Be it blue tit chick or what ever hits that net. Different species have their different personalities and reactions. Some are docile as new born babies. Others scream, peck and clutch. And, believe me; There's a whole world of difference between the screaming, pecking and clutching of a great tit and a f**king jackdaw!!! God forbid I ever have to process an eagle owl! I think I'd be the screamer, as it pecked and clutched! Why are we handling these birds? Good question! Because we want to get a ring on their leg, obviously. Then we (at least) measure their wing and weigh their body. This stuff gives the number crunchers, back at HQ, an insight into how populations are doing. Ye know how, in the Dark Ages, people were barely four feet tall and lived to thirty? Because life was shit? Well, we want to know how life is for birds, year on year. This tells us. I dunno. This is probably one of the longer posts I've ever written. Not a problem, for me. I could just rabbit all night about my absolute passion. Not sure how many have been able to stay this course though Sorry! I'll drop out here, for now. Anyone still reading this? YOU have the potential! Absolutely Anything else you wonder about? Please do ask me! Then I can go into another one! Obviously; I've only earned a very limited little C Permit. There are Gods out there with A Permits. The 'Black Belts' of Ringing. My boss, obviously, has an A Permit with a Trainers Endorsement. And, I swear, I have Seen that man walk on water!!! (Well; The way he found that Willow Warblers nest? He'd might as well of done!) But, yeah, I'll explain what ever I can about what it's like to get into ringing. Anything I don't know? I'll find out for ye. Just stitch ye question below
  2. Mealworm's

    Millet; Live, or dried? I'm assuming live then? Paul; Lend me your sparrows! I'll ring the f**king lot of them! (Been going great guns on them, round here, this last few weeks too. If it's there? They'll try eating it!)
  3. A Couple Of Observations.

    Well; The Irish lads needn't give a f**k, anyway
  4. Mercy Mission

    Nice idea, about the spoon, mate. Only ~ I don't know what hatches nests are like, inside but; Swallows have these really grippy little feet, on these nasty, short little legs. And they're the absolute f**kers for gripping the animal hair and feathers the nest is usually lined with. Start trying to scrape Them out with a spoon? Soon find the rings won't stay on ....! Know what I'm saying? Ring sizes? Yeah, I know, mate. I'd use an E ring on, say, a collared dove! Utter chaos, you and me trying to work together. " 'Ere, Fires, bung us an E ring, mate .......... What The F**k Is That?! "
  5. Mercy Mission

    I've just ringed a nest full of half grown swallows. F**king murder, getting them out of the nest, without breaking it up. Then, shoving them all back in there? It's like stuffing five more students into a phone box! But, those little f**kers will be three times their size, and still cramming in there! It's mental what birds do. Oh, and ring size E?! F**k off! It's A for a goldie and B for a house sparrow! Ask Mr Wilkes!
  6. Top Bit Of Advice You Would Give

    F**k it, Gem; Ye beat me to it! That's exactly what I came in here to say. Well, I s'pose at least we now have a bloke saying it too
  7. Members Pics/avitar/gallery Pics

    Is There any other, mate? All was working fine. Yeah? Now, it's f**ked. Someone must have touched Something. Internet doesn't just blow in here and f**k shit up. Never happens on my Blog. Only I f**k shit up there. By Doing something. Now, we just wait for some smarmy c*** to come along and explain how this was all due to sun spot activity. No one'd touched anything. And Pete is the only c*** round here. Yeah. Right. Believe who ye choose ..... Pssst! Wanna see an Incredible pair of jugs, on a islamic chick ....? PM me. Or I'll disappear too .....
  8. Members Pics/avitar/gallery Pics

    They've f**ked about with and f**ked up AGAIN. Simple's
  9. G.o.t

    Is The Hound f**k as like dead! If he was dead, she'd have f**king Killed him ~ the blonde maggot, I mean. (Sorry; I'm so f**king deaf I don't manage to catch half their names) Love her to bits though (The Maggot)! Absolutely bonded to her Word! Faithful as a Dog. Anyone ever hurts her? I'll f**king hate their character for ever! The Hound too; What a f**king character! If I was six foot f**ck. Built like a brick shit house. And able to fight like that ....? Well; At least the language would come naturally!
  10. Stopping Dogs Attacking Yours

    They'd rather leave it to The Professionals .....
  11. Testing The Water.....

    Thanks a f**king Lot for reminding me of that! FFS! Now I need to get blind drunk again, just to try and erase the image!
  12. Mules Feeding Goldfinch Chick's

    Saw a great cartoon somewhere, once ..... Bird, laying on a psychiatrists couch. Bird's saying: " My mother used to throw up into my mouth "
  13. Mules Feeding Goldfinch Chick's

    So; Do both 'parents' usually feed chicks? And, is it done by regurgitation?
  14. Stopping Dogs Attacking Yours

    I did do, one time. F**king GSD following some thirteen year old girl about the streets. Decided it wanted some of mine and there's her just smirking as she denies the thing's anything to do with her. It was a right f**king situation. The thing wouldn't actually get to grips. But, I knew, if I dragged mine away, it'd be on their backs. Let my male off, to f**k its shit up? Well; We all know where That would lead to! So, I considered I had no choice. I rang the Police and said I wished to report a Dog Attack. Figured they could have a word with the adults, who were probably entirely unaware of what this kid was up to. Gavver asks me, " 'Dog Attack'? Were you actually bitten then, sir? " He wasn't ready for me when my bloods up! I came straight back with: " If some c*** comes at me with a f**king knife, and I manage to dodge his thrust; Have I not been f**king attacked?! " Never saw that girl or that f**king Dog again.
  15. Stopping Dogs Attacking Yours

    What the f**king hell's that in ye pocket, Phil?! Or are ye Really pleased with that pup?!
  16. Mule Cage

    " Evolve " ....? Yeppers. That's what it did, mate. It Evolved. Started 'evolving', after about the seventh or eighth pint ~ like it do ..... Taken me Days to get round to actually Creating it. (Yes. I think that's a nice word) The Creation took a minute or two longer than it took me to go to the other room and fetch the bits in. What a shame I haven't got an ebay account though. I could offer my one. Then, your own advert could point mine out, saying; " Don't accept inferior imitations! " F**k me! That'd be some savage craic!
  17. Mercy Mission

    Millet; Ye not supposed to hold them by the throat when ye feed them! Actually; One of the most incredible stories I'll ever read; Young girl and her bloke are walking through a park, yeah? Then come across, on the footpath, what the photo suggested to be a few day old chick, about the size of ye thumb nail. Now, this girl had never read the book. She decided; " F**k this! It's fell out of a nest? I'll take it home and look after it. " Stupid? Futile? An impulse born of total ignorance of the way of things? Yep. Ye'd think so. Except that later photo's showed a perfectly formed, adult Goldfinch. And there they are, asking; " We think it might be called a 'Goldfinch'? "
  18. Mule Cage

    Well, so inspired was I by this thread that I decided I should have a go myself! Here's my effort, lads. I hope ye like it! Just Look At The Detail! What ye reckon, boys? Worth a punt on the bay?
  19. A Nicer Place

    No. Your avatar will be banned, because Aldi aren't paying Google their cut .....
  20. World Cup Vs Archaeology .....

    Massive Respect and Kudos to who ever the hell originally typed This out! It sure as hell wasn't me! " Firstly, imagine every time within a day that football is mentioned by someone else. Secondly, replace it with something that you don't want to hear about every day. Say... Archaeology. Then, think carefully about how an average day would pan out. So, you awaken to the clock radio. It's 7AM. Just as you awaken, it's time for the news and archaeology already. Not news and other historical investigations, like library restorations or museum openings (unless there's another event happening), but just the news and archaelogy. Malaysian plane is still missing. Pistorius is still on trial. New dig announced in Giza. Ancient Mayan temple discovered. Exciting stuff. Time for a bite to eat over the morning TV. More news. More archaeology. Yes, you are aware of what is up with the missing plane. Fine. Now the archaeology in video format. Video of people dusting off some skulls and bits of pottery. All well and good, but archaeology isn't your thing. It would be nice to hear about something else. Even when it isn't archaeology season, the media follow noted archaeologists. They drive fast cars, date beautiful women, advertise fragrances, and sometimes they go to nightclubs and act in the worst possible way. Scandals erupt as the tabloids follow these new celebrities when they're not searching the past for answers. It is entirely possible you can recite the names of certain researchers, even if you don't pay attention to archaeology. You don't know what transfer season is, but you know that someone was transferred to a dig in Peru for a sum of money that could fund the London Underground for two whole days. Out of the car at 8:55 and into work. What are the colleagues talking about, I wonder? Oh, Jones dropped a 3,890 year old pot and smashed it? What a useless w*nker! Someone should do something unpleasant to him. And don't even ask about the unfortunate incident in Athens two years ago - you'll be there all day! Breaking a pillar like that! We don't talk about that here, mate. What? You don't want to discuss the finer points of the prevalence of phallic imagery in Pompeii? Is there something wrong with you? The drive home from work. Every thirty minutes, no matter the station, someone mentions the archaeology. Best sit in silence. Drive past a huge billboard with a black and white picture of a rakishly handsome archaeologist draped over an impossibly beautiful woman. He's winking at you. Trowel in his left hand, supermodel in the right. Jurassic, by Calvin Klein. And now the pub. A nice pub with a beer garden. Posters in the windows. LIVE EXCAVATION AT THE VALLEY OF THE KINGS! All of it on a huge TV with the volume up too loud. Drunken people yelling at the screen. "SEND IT FOR CARBON DATING, YOU USELESS C*CK!" "WHAT ARE YOU ON, MATE? DUST THE ANCIENT MEDALLION GENTLY! SMELTING METHODS OF THE TIME PRODUCED VERY SOFT AND IMPURE METALS EASILY PRONE TO DISFIGURATION!" All this from two men out of a crowd of twenty. One lousy drunken idiot and his chum ruin the image of other archaeology fans. Carbon dating report from the lab updates on TV, read by a man employed because they've been following the beautiful science since they were a boy. The drunk chimes in again. "WHAT PHARAOH'S REIGN DID YOU SAY? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT THE UNDERPINNINGS OF OUR THEORY OF AGRICULTURAL DEVELOPMENT OF 4TH BC EGYPT? GET IN, MATE!" A cheer cascades through the building and you can only wonder why. Best go home and avoid anyone who might be drinking and singing. You once met a disagreeable chap who threatened to beat you up because you didn't watch the archaeology. "Not a late paleolithic era supporter are you? Think you're better than me? I'll have you, you scrawny tw*t!" To bed. To repeat the cycle tomorrow. The inescapable, inevitability that wherever you go, someone, somewhere, is just dying to talk to you about the archaeology. " Admit it! That Was f**king brilliant, wasn't it? Once again; Absolutely nothing to do with me. I just nicked it, off someone else who's nicked it! Just wait till Gnasher sees this!
  21. Ringing? So, You Want To Be A Ringer ....?

    Aidy; I could sell a glass of water to a drowning man But; I'd first have to Know that this was the best water Ever, bar none. Now, Mr Wilkes there bought into my sales pitch. So much so that he put his money where his mouth is. And, if you could see the PM's that have just passed between us? Ye'd see how much Absolute delight his progression is generating for Both of us! I'm bouncing off the walls, for him, here! This is possibly an even greater pleasure than I find in ringing, myself. Seeing someone else discover what I share in. " Go for it "? Please do! And Stick At It! F**k the frustrations. The lack of responses. The arseholes making excuses ~ because enough have met that and given up, look. The system's not perfect. And we're all human. Mr Wilkes is as my first born. He's on the road! And I'm absolutely ecstatic! So, yeah, You go for it! Make My Day!
  22. Home Brew Cider

    I have been known to knock up the odd drop of stout .....
  23. Love My Job😄

    Can't drive, myself. But, years and years ago, I was chatting to a bloke in a pub. Just a decent seeming, every day bloke. He asked if I wanted a lift home. That was fine by me. I was a couple of miles out. We walked outside and I thought I was on a secret camera TV show! This f**king Thing was lurking there. Awaiting his command. Full on f**king Lamborghini !!! And, yes, the old mouth Did go a bit dry!
  24. That's It. I'm Off .....

    Noodles on. Fresh pint of my own, rather delectable stout. Then, one click and I have the next episode of Game of Thrones all lined up! Life can be So f**king sweet! Thanks, all for ye distraction and entertainment. Back in the later morning!
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